Saturday, January 30, 2010

Restaurant Etiquette: Fat Amateur Style

Well, here we are.

Apologies all around for our recent absence, work and school has taken up the better portion of my time, and for Jake, well, who knows? Don't you love a blog by two people that is only written by one and all he does is jab at the guy who doesn't contribute? ANYWAY...

Tonight's blog, as the title indicates, deals with restaurant etiquette. I am not going to go through which fork does what or what tie to wear, this deals with subjects that I have personally seen and take personal offense to when I see it either at work or when I am eating somewhere.

1.)If you can't afford to tip accordingly, don't go out to eat. This seems pretty simple, but I have seen terrific servers and service go un-thanked many times. Generally, tipping is a non-required gesture to thank a restaurant or server for a job well done. However, if you are going out to eat, budget enough to leave at least a 15% tip on what you spend.

You may say "Tim, my server was terrible!" I reply to that by saying that if it's entirely the servers fault (ie: they were not overwhelmingly busy, mistakes weren't by the cook, etc), then you should not have to tip them. I am purely a service tipper, which means if my service was not good considering any other factor, then the server will not be tipped well if at all. Servers work very hard (typically) and make close to half of minimum wage at times. You are their lively-hood, and if you are too stingy for 15% for good service, then don't go out.

2.)Don't let your kids run around if it's not Chuck E. Cheese. Take care of your children! Allowing your children to run in a restaurant is like saying you don't care if they are kidnapped! If your child is not mature enough to handle going out, then you should parent better or wait until they are. This disrupts people at other tables, it disrupts service, and it reflects poorly on you. Plus, it's a safety hazard. I cringe thinking about every child I see running in a restaurant getting a boiling dish of pasta poured on his/her head and horrendously SCARRING him/her for life! THIS IS SERIOUS!!! Be a good parent!

Now you may say "Tim, you're not a parent, blah blah blah!" WHO CARES? Is your child's safety not important to you? If no, then is your own image as a parent important? If you said no to either, you are too inbred to know what I am saying or you are terrible and should not go anywhere.

3.)If something is wrong, say something as soon as you can. 99% of restaurants will be happy to fix any mistakes they made, and will probably compensate you for the trouble in some way. However, this is not a go-ahead to screw people into giving you free meals/drinks/whatever. Don't be a dick! Like I said, most places want your repeat business. That means getting it right and wanting you to come back. Some places do not follow this philosophy, which will lead them to eventual ruin. I am not saying all restaurants do what they should, but if you are in a good, reputable place, they will assist you as much as they can. In my personal experience, I have been happy to repair any mistakes made by myself or staff. It only hurts you to be quiet and not mention if something is not done to your standards. The restaurant business is a service business. This means customer satisfaction. Plus, if you leave on a good note, you will most likely patronize again, which makes things easy for you!

4.)No matter what someone may say, or what you think, going to/ordering from/staying in a restaurant within a few minutes of them closing is rude. In the restaurant business, closing time is closing time. They should not be closed before their advertised closing time of course, but coming in five minutes before close does make you a jerk. Some places will be cool with it, but generally, you will be "that guy" or "that girl" that restaurants talk about and get to know. This is because the restaurant business is funny. Some nights are busier than others. Employees get tired, and they want to leave at closing. They don't want to sit there while you talk to your stupid friends about who got more drunk last night. This counts for bars, too. If you can't be responsible enough to patronize at a decent hour, then that place is not for you. Think of 15 minutes before closing as probably too close.

You may say "Tim, restaurants should be happy all the time to serve me at one minute till close or at opening." No, the IRS doesn't stay open for an hour later because you want to file your taxes at a different time. No other public service agency does this, and you shouldn't expect restaurants to either. Plus, food will be fresher and better prepared if you go earlier.

Well, that's all I have for now. If you have ever worked in the restaurant biz, or if you patronize as a responsible citizen, then this makes sense. If you are a self-righteous jerkface, then you are all mad at me and thinking I don't know what I am talking about. Really, this is for other patrons. I expect to not be bothered by these items when I eat out. I pay a decent price, and I expect that others respect that I patronize restaurants for the atmosphere as well as food. If you don't do the other things, and are respectful of people around you, the others will do the same and it can make for a terrific experience.

If you want to comment about how right or wrong I am, feel free. Otherwise, catch you next time.

-Tim

Saturday, January 16, 2010

Restaurant review- Harmony by Clint Goodman

Hello, y'all. I hope this finds you well.

As you can see from the title, we are doing a restaurant review today! YAY! Right? Right! So, before we jump into this, I will give you a little of "what's up," and then get to the gritty.

I don't know what Jake has been doing, but I have been working a bunch and doing the school thing and blah blah. This is dumb, I will carry on.

Ok, review! Harmony by Clint Goodman is a New American Fusion-style restaurant located directly downtown Waverly, IA. Check out the website here. They use local/fresh/organic ingredients, which is essentially unheard of in our little corner of the world. I won't go into the details of it's existence or anything like that, since much of it can be found at the website. I have been there three times, and each time has been simply fantastic.

Atmosphere:
The building itself is between a couple businesses. If you're not looking for it, you can miss it. And that is kind of the magic of the place. There are two usable entrances, one leading to an elegant lounge, and the other to the dining room. The lounge has couches, local art, and an air of relaxation you don't really get from other lounges. The dining room is simple, with old jewelery cases lining the walls (large ceiling to ceiling ones, very old world) that contain local art pieces. The tables are dressed in black with white cloths. The whole place exudes cleanliness and professionalism.

Service:
The service at Harmony is excellent. The only thing I could see was that there was an air of "newness" to them, methods not quite yet refined. However, this did not take away from the experience of fine dining service that leaves no wants unmet. The professionalism of the service shows, as no glass was empty, and courses were planned precisely.

Menu: The menu at Harmony can seem a bit overwhelming for how "limited" it seems. However, it is not limited at all once you are able to understand how willing Harmony is to please. The menu itself is fine dining defined. The restaurant does very well in maintaining a simple, yet elegant and exciting menu for many tastes. Harmony offers a contemporary and "classic" or more recognizable menu. The classic menu (I can't remember what it's actually called) uses items that are more along the lines of a steakhouse. The starters contain various soups, salads, and other items which are all described deliciously. The main courses can feature steaks (ribeye was the choice as of late), and cuts of meat more familiar to a majority of people.

The contemporary menu is that, simply put. The items on this are more towards the tastes of a connoisseur of various sea foods and a variety of items one from a small town rarely thinks of for options.

There are a number of ways to enjoy Harmony's items. There are three and five course tasting menus (which are a fantastic deal, appetizer, main course, and dessert for a price that can compete with many streamlined restaurants). Also are the items priced individually, a choice of a cheese plate, and other options. Desserts are listed by the server since they can vary daily.

Meal:
Finally, what this blog has been getting at; the food. Harmony has provided some of the most perfectly prepared food that I have ever eaten. The flavors do, as the website title suggests, sing. The conception of what the menu offers comes to life as you are handed plates. The plating is magnificent, a blend of simple elegance with portions appropriate for this region. If you have never eaten organic or locally grown food before, I suggest Harmony before anything else. The sheer quality over most food offered by local stores and restaurants is astounding. There is an enormous difference between this food and food anywhere else, and it's for the better. If you have ever doubted that organic food is better, you have never eaten it properly prepared!

The items are perfectly seasoned, and most items are sauteed. You can tell that carefully seasoned pans are the only thing your food touches, and the aroma and pure professionalism are apparent as soon as you receive the dish. You can tell that Chef Clint knows what he is doing, and you can nearly taste the science that went behind choosing the specific items in the dish as they dance and play perfectly. The proteins are always the most moist and high-grade items available. I have had skate-wing, Lake Superior Whiting, Ribeye, and pork tenderloin. They have each been perfect, from fat content to moisture to how it is cooked. The vegetables are always delightful. And the desserts are delectable. I have had a watermelon sorbet (that tastes and has a texture VERY close to real watermelon, only a frozen sorbet) and the cheesecake. The cheesecake is fantastic, and painstakingly made. Upon speaking with the chef, you understand how much of himself is invested. The choice of the perfect cheese for the cheesecake, to what items he uses in his kitchen have all been planned perfectly, and it seems that a town the size of (and the almost "backwards-ly finicky" population) does not deserve such a place.

Drinks: Keeping with the theme of local, Harmony offers beer so local it is made on premises, Angry Cedar Brewing Co. While I have not had a chance to try any, from what I hear it is delicious. Harmony's chef is also either studying to be (or is, I can't recall) a sommalier, which means that specific wines can be paired with meals. The wine selection can only be describes as eclectic and expansive. I won't go into details, as I have very very little experience with wine. They also offer more well-known beers, and soda by the can.

If I could ever make a suggestion it would be to add a bar of some type and offer high-quality cocktails with top-shelf liquor. I can see many problems and obstacles that may come about, but offering a top-shelf Manhattan may help seal the deal for many.

Price: the pricing for Harmony can only be described as fair. Even those on a strict budget can find items that will subsist them. To some, the prices may seem ghastly at first (the use of $25 instead of $24.99 can throw us). However, one must understand that the quality of food is on a much higher level, and the price reflects very fairly on what you are given (especially since food costs have to be astronomical there). The portions are perfect. Don't go expecting to get something like at Applebee's, expect to spend time and thoroughly enjoy yourself at a restaurant that offers terrific food at reasonable prices. Like I mentioned before, the three course tasting menu is fantastic, and you get an appetizer, a large main course, and a dessert for a streamlined price.

Overall: I have to say that Harmony is my favorite restaurant of all time. From the unique dining room (and a unique experience on the whole), to the terrific menu and stellar food, Harmony is a place that one can easily overlook, but to the lucky people that find it, it's a gold mine. If you have not tried it, and live close enough, enjoy it soon, before they decide to uproot to a more happening town. If I were to grade it, I would give a 4.75/5. The only reason they do not receive a perfect score is because some items labeled on the menu are not consistently available. While I completely understand this sometimes happens (as years in food service will tell you), something seems to be out or close to the three times I have been. While Harmony specializes in fresh/local, changing a menu or doing things a bit differently in that regard may avoid some disappointment. I have no suggestions as to how, so I guess I am the jerk. Otherwise, Harmony, don't change a thing.




(images copyright Harmony/respectful owners)
-Tim

Thursday, January 7, 2010

Whooooo

Well, sorry that we haven't been on here for a while. I have been working and Jake... well... needs to get off his ass. Just kidding?

I will spare you the boring details of what is going on and suffice to say "lots, but not enough to really complain about." We are a lazy people, and while we wish we could regale you in tales of cooking trials and tribulations, we are too fat and tired at the moment. So here is some nonsensical writing!

Jake and I are fans of heavy metal music; have been most of our lives. Our youth was (and is) spent (read: wasted) discovering new bands and listening to music that just plain gets us off. Before you go "Tim, I thought this blog is about coooking and stuff LOL!!1!", we starting this out as a way for us to write about what we want. We are gonna be all 'here's a recipe!' one day, and all 'here's a heavy metal critique' another. ANYWAY, our interests vary greatly and you can expect a variety of things from us.

I am off topic.

Ok, Jake and I are metal fans, and food fans (fat metal dudes? Who knew?). So, how sweet would it be if we donned corpse paint and had a cooking podcast? YEAH!!!!

Thursday, December 31, 2009

FOOD- Pan-fried pork chops, roasted red potatoes, and deep-fried portabella mushrooms.

Welp, it's New Years, and instead of getting crazy drunk or partying, I am hanging out at home. I did make a decent meal, however, and I will share it with you! You get what it is from the title, so here ya goooooo.

Mushrooms:
I found a package of two portabellas for a reasonable price. I didn't want them to go to waste, but I wasn't sure how I wanted to cook them. I concluded that deep-frying would be pretty good since I hadn't broken out the Fry Daddy for quite some time.

I did a traditional battering or coating for these. I think next time I will make an actual batter, since they didn't turn out as well as I hoped. I did a flour-egg wash-breadcrumb coating. If you don't know what that is look it up. I am too tired to type it all out. I fried them in a thoroughly-heated Fry Daddy (following all safety instructions). I let them brown pretty significantly, since I didn't slice them very thin, and I wanted them to cook through.

The flavor overall was OK. I think that I made them too thick and overcooked them overall. I think a little less brown and a bit more golden would have worked better. Also, I only have Italian Seasoned breadcrumbs, so a self-seasoned mixture may have been better. The mushrooms weren't very fresh I realized, so this held them back slightly.

Roasted Red Potatoes:

Pretty simple: diced some potatoes, tossed in canola oil, and cooked in an oven with a few spices. I used seasoned salt (hell yeah!), pepper, and a bit of rosemary. I don't like strong rosemary, so it all worked out pretty well.

I used a heavy pan, oiled and seasoned them, and baked them in a 400 degree oven. 'Nuff SAIIIIIIDDD.

Overall flavor was pretty good. The rosemary gave it very earthy notes (like potatoes need more help), but the way it all was worked pretty well. I think that a 350 degree oven would have worked better, but I ran out of time and needed it on the fly!

Pork Chops:

Again, simplicity was key. I had purchased a bulk package of pork chops that were discounted due to being in bulk, and also for not being the most "eye-catching" cuts. I had packaged them individually in zip bags, so it worked perfectly for two!

I cooked them in a medium pan in a bit of canola oil. I used salt, pepper, seasoned salt, garlic powder (the real powder, like flour, not granules), and a bit of onion powder. I went light on the seasoning since I wanted the pork flavor to shine. I used medium-high heat and browned them on both sides. I then turned the heat to medium-low and let them cook longer to temperature. I cooked them to a medium-well (which isn't technically recommended, but it is a bit more tender and flavorful).

Overall flavor was pretty good. Since the chops weren't "ideal" they were a little varied on cooking times, but flavor was good. The differing chops meant various fat formations, so that was a little disappointing at moments. The chops were more tender than I thought. They were pretty good and a bit of different protein than usual, so it was nice.


The meal itself was a bit "thick" or heavy. I should have mashed the potatoes and had a bit of gravy as well, or had a vegetable as well. It wasn't the most healthy meal, since all of it required oil in certain quantities. The flavor was OK, and it was a filling and different meal, which was what mattered overall. Anyway, that's it for now.

Later, y'all.

-Tim

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

BARK BARK BARK

BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK BARK!

Friday, December 25, 2009

We put the Christ in Christmas

Hello loyal readers... ha.

Well, it's Christmas day and thus far it has been good. Lots of good things happening, with family get-togethers and such. Anyway, enough generic holiday wishes. I am sure you are tired of them by now.

We at twofatamateurs are not going to go into a whole holiday meal, we leave that to our families. Food Network has a lot of good holiday ideas, so check their site out if you're looking for that sort of thing. If you haven't noticed we are pretty lazy around here, so don't expect us to really link to or provide useful information. We are the middleman, but it costs the same whether you cut us out or not.

I did happen to get a nice set of food dishes, however. I will spare you the intricate details and hope it will suffice to say "they are good." Once I get to washing all of them, I will have few excuses and will actually have to cook. Then I will have all kinds of misadventures and botched recipes to share with the three people that read this! Yay!

Anyway, I am going off 3 1/2 hours of sleep, so I will end this drawn-out, half-assed holiday post. Hope none of you burn your homes down. Or burn anything.


Bye!
-Tim

Wednesday, December 23, 2009

Corn and Roasted Red Pepper Soup with Andouille Sausage

So, I basically stole this from another blog, but I will give the recipe as well (with my minor changes), and link to the original site (which links to the site that was the very original).

1 cup brown rice (I used white, worked fine)
4 cups chicken broth (can use vegetable for vegan/vegetarian [see very original])
6 cups water
1 tsp salt
1/4 teaspoon black pepper (fresh ground if possible)
3 ears of corn (I used one 15oz can, fresh is best)
2 large red bell peppers
2 minced garlic cloves
1 TBS of olive oil (canola oil works fine too, just for sauteing)
8oz andouille sausage (can use kielbasa, or go without if you're vegan/veg)

-Get a large stock pot, and put rice, water, and broth, bring to a boil. Original says to simmer for an hour, or until soft. It's important to point out the rice is more of a thickener, or an almost mushy/starchy base, not like an individual "chunk" ingredient.
-While rice is cooking, roast red peppers.* Remove skin and place in reclosable plastic bag for 15 minutes. Remove skins and seeds, and slice into 1'' thin strips.
-Heat the oil in a pan, and saute garlic (1 min), add corn (3-5 minutes). Remove from heat and add in prepared red peppers.
-When the rice is fully cooked, add the mixture from the pan into your pot.
-If using sausage, slice into 1/4'' slices and saute for a minute or two, then add to the pot as well. Add salt and pepper as well. **
-Simmer for 30 minutes, or until it thickens significantly.

* This was strange, so look it up before you do it. Use fresh peppers, and what I did was wrap them in olive oil, a bit of sea salt, and foil, and broiled them. I didn't broil them enough, and it was very tough at times to remove the skin. Make sure to follow roasting instructions closely, since I nearly burned down my apartment.
**The andouille sausage was strong-flavored and spicy. I think next time I will use less or cut smaller, since the spice and flavor takes away to the sweet/savory notes of the broth/veggies.

Like I said, I used this recipe from another site, but I wanted to add my notes about it and hopefully yours turns out even better :)

Recipe (where I got it)

-Tim